You've somehow acquired a magical dimension-splicing conversion van and are planning an epic cross-country road trip with your friends and fandom. First, pick ten travel buddies from anywhere - real life, fiction, OCs, celebrities, whatever. Then answer these questions to see how cracktastic your adventure turns out to be.

1. My best pal Komodo, real life
2. Jin, Samurai Champloo
3. Sen, OC
4. Mugen, Samurai Champloo
5. Bou, ex-AnCafe
6. Belarus, OC
7. Spike, Cowboy Bebop
8. Yoshiki, X Japan
9. Otacon, MGS
10. Kai, GazettE


1. The GPS has an obnoxious voice. What does 9 (Otacon) name it, & is 7 (Spike) bothered by it?

Well, considering that Otacon is nerdy^9000, he names it Uboa. And then programs it to have Uboa's face as the background. And programs it to shriek for no reason, using the .wav file from Yume Nikki. Spike does not react well to this, and kicks the GPS to shut it up. It breaks. NOW THEY'RE LOST. WAY TO GO, SPIKE. D:<


2. 8(Yoshiki), 4(Mugen), 6(Belarus), and 1(Komodo) are all forced to share the cramped back row of seats. How do they arrange themselves?

Belarus immediately settles on Yoshiki's lap. Hands and tails (well, maybe just one) go everywhere. EVERYWHERE. D: OH GOD. Belarus doesn't mind this, though, and Yoshiki is a little bit too drunkenly passed out to care. Mugen, however, objects to having that damn tail in his face, and so decides that it's a good idea to bite it. This is bad. Belarus flips the fuck out and kicks him in the face. Mugen tries to pull his sword, but finds it missing - it's in a box behind the seat so he can't kill anybody. And being stapped into the seat with the belt, he can't really go anywhere. So he flips the fuck out and flails. Fists become acquainted with faces. Komodo desperately wishes she were someplace else, and swaps seats with Bou at the first opportunity. Poor Bou.


3. 5(Bou) & 10(Kai) are sitting next to each other. Who gets the window seat?

Kai is much too polite to take the pretty window seat, so he lets Bou have it. What a gentleman! They sit in companionable silence.


4. 3(Sen) & 4(Mugen) are invading each other's personal space. Who gets annoyed first & how do they deal with it?

It's probably Sen that started it, and so it's probably Mugen that gets upset first, and reacts by punching Sen in the face. Sen does not react to this favorably, electing to try and scratch Mugen's eyes out. Mugen pulls Sen's long, velvety ears. Sen screams. Komodo had to break them up before they kill each other. She vehemently wishes she had stayed home.


5. What habit does 8(Yoshiki) have that might get on 2(Jin)'s nerves?

Being drunk and smelling drunk. Because that's what Yoshiki does best! Or at all. LOL! 8D Jin, however, is much too stoic to say anything, so he keeps his mouth shut and simply twitches every once in a while.


6. Who's more likely to start up a round of "99 Bottles", 1(Komodo) or 7(Spike)?

There is no conceivable scenario in which either of those people would ever sing that song. D:


7. Would you put more trust in 9 (Otacon) or 10 (Kai) to get behind the wheel for a while?

I'd imagine putting Kai behind the wheel is like the scene in Drawn Together when Lingling takes his driver's test. All the cars on the road would smash into them, even if the emergency brake was on. D: Then again, Otacon is a skinny nerd who never goes anywhere. Oh god. IF EITHER OF THESE MEN DRIVE WE ARE ALL DEAD. ALL OF US. OH GOD.


8. You stop at a gas station & 5(Bou) & 3(Sen) make a snack-and-supply run. What do they bring back?

Bou retrieves candy, and shares it with everyone. Sen retrieves a gun. No, seriously. D:


9. 6 (Belarus) and 8 (Yoshiki) brought CD's. What's on their playlist?

OH GEE I WONDER WHAT YOSHIKI BROUGHT. :U Belarus, however, brought an mp3 mix CD of all the songs he's ever had sex with anybody to. There's thousands. Oh god.


10. Who's the more notorious backseat driver, 2 (Jin) or 10 (Kai)?

Well, Jin never says anything and Kai can't drive, so probably Kai. But only very politely.


11. The intergalactic van breaks down outside a motel. Rooms are divided as so- 2-4, 5-8, 10-3, 1-7, 6-9, . Describe each room.

2 (Mugen) and 4 (Jin)
-Being the author of this jounal's OTP, they interact in much the same way they interact in a very NSFW doujin the authoress has. Oh dear God. Let's just say they get along VERY WELL. SEXILY WELL ONE MIGHT SAY. They spend the rest of the trip in semi-awkward silence.

5 (Bou) and 8(Yoshiki)
-Yoshiki rolls on E the entire time. Bou starts to cry after Yoshiki tried to hit on him. Oh no. D:

10(Kai) and 3(Sen)
-Kai is very polite and offers to let Sen have the nicer bed. Sen flips him off and states that he would take it anyways. He also tells Kai not to touch his fucking stuff. Kai starts to cry. Goddamn it, Sen!

1(Komodo) and 7(Spike)
-Although the accomodations are less than perfect, Komodo doesn't complain, and Spike doesn't really mind because anything's better than being cooped up in that damn van any longer. They pass the evening with companionable chatter, and turn in at around 9PM.

6(Belarus) and 9(Otacon)
-Belarus rapes Otacon. There's just no dancing around the issue, he rapes that sexy little nerd. And Otacon likes it. He takes it like a bitch and likes it. Because he's a WHOOOORE.


12. You arrive at a lakeside park. Does 10(Kai) know how to swim? Can 9(Otacon) teach him? Is 6(Belarus) jealous of their bonding moment?

Kai has NO IDEA HOW TO SWIM. I don't think he even knows what water is. Otacon, however, loves to swim. It's like, the only physical activity he can do. So he tries to teach Kai how to swim. Belarus gets SO JEALOUS he attempts to drown Kai (surrepturously). Otacon, though, stops him. Belarus slaps him. They both burst into tears.

13. 7(Spike) challenges 5(Bou) to a freestyle rap-battle. Who wins, and how ridiculous do things get?

Bou does not know how to rap very well, and so his attempts are bumbling and sweet. Spike, however, tears him a new asshole with his slick rhymes, and causes Bou to cry. Spike is the clear victor.